Grateful

adjective

1. warmly or deeply appreciative of kindness or benefits received; thankful:

i've always wondered about gratefulness. never understood this sort of stuff: the idea of creating gratefulness as a source of positive energy for yourself by lighting candles or writing a journal only about positive things. or the the Jesus stuff. although gratitude in the religious sense seems a bit different, less selfish in a way. i rarely feel it, unless i define as not being as miserable as so many other people in the world.

but then i feel bad and think i should feel it more often. (my therapist would say this sentence is an oxymoron, think...should...feel.)

in fire island i always do. 
last weekend, i was fully grateful for:
 - eli jumping off a diving board and swimming so well looking really strong and healthy. he just went in the bay all by himself, swam up to the board while i was on the phone and very confidently walked to the edge and ...CANNONBALL!
- the beach and jumping in the waves with kids. i am grateful that i am able to run and jump and swim and feel the sand under my feet.
- really sweet sister-in law who invited us and friends to hang with.
- drinking cocktails while watching the sunset.
  and most of all:
 - the outdoor shower at nighttime. nothing beats showering while looking at the stars.