I have arrived in New York after hanging out in LA for a couple of days. I have really taken a shine to California. Of course, that may be because I was staying in a beautiful house in Santa Monica with my father's old high school friend and his wife, Sarah. I also loved driving around my rental car - there is something sweet about speeding down their crazy highways, locked away in your own world with just the CD player to keep you company (although I am not sure I would like it that much if I had to commute around here day in and day out).

Here is what I was thinking as I was driving back a couple of days ago from Claremont, a city an hour away from LA, where I visited one of my new "travel friends", Luke. It is great to travel around South America for various reasons, one of which is that you realize how little most people have, to get a perspective on how much YOU have and how little of that you actually, truly need. (If you cannot go to a third world country in the near future check out the website:
http://www.globalrichlist.com. It will tell you, based on you annual income, what percentile of the world's population you are in in terms of revenue - my most recent income placed me in the top 0.5 per cent.) Here's the catch though: hanging out by the pool in this beautiful house and observing my surroundings I saw the other side of things: the unbelievable wealth and comfort some - admittedly few - people live in. And I am almost ashamed to admit it but not NEEDING all these things does not stop me from WANTING them. So I was wondering if I had really learnt anything. Here I am, longing to be in the top 0.3 per cent. even though I was miserable with my existence while in the top 0.5. I hated my work and purposefully distanced myself from the values of that strange corporate world for fear of becoming a sucker for it. I was fascinated by, envied, and ultimately resented the people who were (or seemed to be) buying into it and truly enjoying it. And now I feel like a hypocrite - that job gave me the opportunity (i.e. the cash) to go and explore all the things that I have explored these past months and, to top it off, I have this desire for more not because I think it would make me happier but because I know that it is NICE. So is my conclusion that I have to make it happen for myself, which would mean going back to what I was doing before at least 12 hours a day, 5-6 days a week? It is not, because I cannot bear the thought of having another Monday morning conversation about how terrible it is that week has just started, and another Friday afternoon conversation about how nice it is that the week has finally ended and letting weeks and months and years go by framed by these superficial and pathetic conversations. So I will have to take my chances and see what works out, but at least I know what I don't want to do. Of course, it is not that dramatic at all. Work is just work and as my former boss said when I resigned: "You know, no job will be perfect, that is why they pay you to do it." How very true.